Saturday, December 25, 2010
All this time I thought that I was being the victim in like all the shit that happened around me. But I found out who the victims in my damn life story really are.
Never found out, well in reality all this shit was in my head, I was being stupid and ignorant and I was ignoring the reality of my life and the choices that I make. I am not stupid.. Really I swear.
I am not.
I am not even trying to become something better.
I don’t hesitate to do anything my little mind wants to do.
That fucken scares the shit out of me.
Then again I get a thrill of knowing that I can get away with 98% of the shit I do.
I am a heart breaker.. I am a heart breaker and I love this life.
Karma is a bitch… and I am ready for it to hit me in the face.
I will put up a fight, because I have been waiting all my life to be this happy.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
We are all headed somewhere.
Whether it’s a certain goal we are planning to hit, or a place we are planning to go to we are all headed somewhere.
Metaphorically speaking we are headed somewhere in all minutes, hours and seconds of the day but what do we do when all of a sudden all these goals and dreams and destinations we are planning to take just all go away? Does that mean that we are all out of inspiration? Does it mean that we have finally called it quits and just kind of settled for what we already have? Life can take us many places but I believe ultimately we want to be happy with what we have in life at the moment.
I am not at that point yet, I am not at the point where I have stopped dreaming. I have not stopped walking, I am headed somewhere where even I myself have no clue where I am going. Its kind of like I am riding the current and letting it take me wherever the hell it wants. All these damn doors are open and all I want to be is taken away where I am at, I am not tired of where I am at… but really I just want to see everything I am able to see in the short life that I have here on this earth. I want to be stabbed in the back as many times as I can possibly be stabbed. I want to see things that I haven’t seen. I want to meet everyone I can possibly meet.
I have figured out that life is just this big ball of adventure and I want to take advantage of it, right now more than anything. I want to see things I want to explore the world. I am not looking to be held down by one person, I am not looking myself to limit myself from having love from one source. I have seen that I am a whore of love… whether its from an animal or a human or from a figment of my imagination.
My hopes are there, and even though sometimes they might be hanging from a thread, I believe that they can be used.. and until that thread breaks I will continue to have hopes.
I am walking into a path of surprises. I am walking into a path of imagination and dreams.
I have goals, I have destinations to hit and I have lovers to meet. I am not going to stay in one place, whether I meet something or hold onto something I want badly I know one day I am going to have to let go.
Where do I go from here? What do I do? What do I say?
Because at this point in my life I don’t give a fuck of what I hurt or break…
Does this make me an asshole?